The same sun

If you live in Tacoma have you noticed that things have been unusually crazy? I've noticed a lot more graffiti engraved on local store fronts and have been aware of crying sirens that are screaming at greater frequencies. I wonder what is going on?

My own personal experience with this craziness started on Friday morning last week when I was on my way to the Y. I couldn't find my car. At first I thought I must be just not seeing it because this wouldn't really happen. But, after walking up and down the block I was reassured that the spot where I parked was now absent of my car.

My alarm clock on Saturday morning was a phone call from the Tacoma police Department saying they had found my car! Amazing! James and I drove over to the location which was only a couple of blocks away. There we found my car abandoned, but in perfect condition. They had done nothing to it except steal my piggy bank that was waiting to be rolled into money sleeves.

This whole experience showed me how unattached I am to this car. I realized how my prayers to not have attachment to material possessions were starting to take root. God has begun to established a steady faith that allowed me to responded by saying "Great, now I don't have to worry about selling it in a couple of months!" This response was a shock to me. Even though opportunities like this aren't desired it was good to see what rose out of my heart because of it. Other times I wasn't so pleasantly surprised but more disappointed by the darkness that oozed out.

Saturday we had a house concert at our home and so there were lines of cars parked on our skinny street. I came home for the Mission Encounter greeted by comments of my car being hit in a hit and run. I thought they were joking and teasing me since I had just gotten it back that morning. They weren't. The back was dented in the identical spot of a hit in run last February. This time my reaction wasn't as calm. I was mad! Mad that so much insanity could happen within such a short period of time. My friend Marie and I went up stairs and did some warfare prayer because I know that we don't fight against blood and flesh, but against principalities and spiritual forces.

I've not only seen physical warfare manifesting in Tacoma, but there has also been a lot of disunity. I've been in a season of tension with one of my housemates for over two weeks. It was to the point were we hadn't said more then the surface greeting and I was arranging for another place to live under the pretense of needing to save money before I left for Africa. As I write this it sounds so immature. I was the host of bitterness and personal offense. Once I started to allow bitterness to invade my heart the line of Truth was blurred.

Tuesday night we sat on my small bed and hashed out our emotions and perspectives. After two and a half hours of conversing, reflecting and planning we came to the great conclusion of reconciliation. It was amazing because I went into the conversation thinking that it would be the end of our intimate friendship and that I would be content on having an acquaintance void of any depth. I remember the breaking point of the conversation for me when my heart let go was when they said,"I went to Powells book store and was going to journal all of the reasons why I was so frustrated with you. All I could do was write about all the things you taught me and how much I loved you. I now have pages and pages." This melted me and I actually felt all walls tumble down and it was like my heart went limp again and was embraceable once more. I had convinced myself from the actions of my friend that they didn't love me or want me in their live. Hearing the truth made my heart open up again to the love they had for me.

As I lay in bed reading a book called When Heaven Invades Earth by Bill Johnson, I came to this quote that struck my heart with validity. "The anointing of the Holy Spirit forever changed the lives of the humble. But it was also Holy Spirit empowered ministry that caused great offense to the proud and brought about His crucifixion. The same sun that melts the ice hardens the clay." And ultimately the way we react to the Holy Spirit is due to the condition of our heart.

My ultimate desire to be alive to Holy Spirit and to be melted by His presence. This time with my housemate was one of brokenness and self-reflection and I realized that there I was in part being hardened by conviction but in the end I was melted and undone by love and forgiveness.