Hey

I just woke up from a nap/rest from our rock cement porch. My pillow was my journal and the book “There is always enough” that I just finished. Today we had church and a funeral for a baby girl that died yesterday. They had prayed for her to be resurrected but while praying someone had a vision of her in the arms of Jesus. She had begun to get warm which is a sign of resurrection but then she had a choice. Did she want to stay in the arms of Jesus or did she want to come back to earth. In my opinion this is not a difficult choice. Why would you ever want to leave the arms of Jesus especially after your life has been struggle after struggle. She had arrived at the Iris home a couple of months ago. Her parents were both dead and her grandparents brought her. Her arms were covered with witchcraft bracelets.

I went to a little part of church and not to the funeral at all. I am trying to discern what to be involved in and in general have had a desire to rest. It is a struggle in me though because I want to be involved with the nationals and part of their daily life joys and struggles but I don’t feel that this is the focus of this time. Our teachings are deep and our time is intense. I know that God is changing the deep channels of my heart and often I am drained of energy and resort to the tile floor of the back porch. I just have to trust that God will put me where I’m supposed to be and give me the desires that I’m supposed to have.

It is just so different than my time in Kenya. The first day there I was interacting with the children and scrubbing windows with rags. Different seasons and I really feel that this is a season of receiving because I am going to enter into something so different after this.

Earlier this week I realized that I had hit a wall. My tolerance level for grubby hands touching me and pulling me and hitting me became nil. I didn’t want any one to hug me or tug me or pull on my skirt. This touch that I so loved before now is a bother. But, there is something different about it as well. I feel that it has increased. I feel that the children have changed their tactics here. At first it was the angel approach of sitting politely on laps, or playing gently with hair. There were no demands or rude requests, no slaps on the back or punches in the arm. Now the devil tactics have surfaced and it is the endless demands for a football, a pump, a pair of shoes. And it doesn’t end. Last night Meadow and I brought out this lit up Frisbee to play with the children. As we were throwing it the usual fight broke out and one boy went pouting to the stairs and sat watching. One throw ended up in the near by bushes and as I bent to get it an object flew by my head and landed near by. I glanced at it and saw a rock the size of a softball! I picked up the Frisbee and Meadow and I turned to walk back to our compound all the while praying that no more rocks would follow. I feel like this story represents the state of Mozambique. There is no discipline here. The kids aren’t disciplined at their home, school, or anywhere. They run and hit and punch without any consequences.


When I was in America one day driving through the streets of Tacoma I was hit with the revelation that there were in fact a lot of similarities with many nations around the world. I came to this conclusion after thinking about theft in third world countries and how often a purse will be stolen from your body or a house ransacked of all possessions. Then I realized that the same thing is happening in America. It’s called identity theft. People steal your life and they ransack your bank account of all possessions. Same spirit, different manifestation. Who is to say which one is worse?

At the beginning of my time here in Mozambique I shared that I was struggling with the mentality that I didn’t have enough. As I spent time in prayer I realized that this is the same spirit that is over all of this country. This spirit looks like desperateness for the basic essentials. It isn’t uncommon for someone to repay kindness with rudeness or to suddenly turn. Remembering what I learned in Tacoma about same spirits I realized this was like the spirit that causes one to climb the cooperate ladder taking down all of the other competition as you get higher. Friends betray friends to get what they want. Same spirit, different manifestation. Who is to say which one is worse?

All of this to say please pray for us at this school because we are in a place where we want to respond by hiding and withdrawing. This is opposite of what I want to do. I want to have a rock thrown at me and not let it land in my heart. I want to have a kid hit me and call me nasty names and not let it land in my heart. I want to have Latina demand everything from me and not let it land in my heart. I want to choose to love when not loved.


My most consuming prayer the past couple of weeks has been for dove eyes which is in Song of Songs. I learned once that dove’s mate only once in their life and even if their mate dies they won’t mate again. They have eyes that are unfaltering and fixed. I want eyes that lock on to the face of my Beloved Jesus that don’t dart to loud manifestation or to a handsome guy or to the beckoning ocean shores. I’ve been crying out from Psalms 26, 27 and 84 to DWELL in the house of the Lord and to constantly GAZE upon His beauty. I want this so badly that I find it my first thought in the morning the second I wake up and a desperateness is growing inside me that will contend for this because surly I will die if I don’t have intimacy with Jesus. So, you can pray that I would be a dweller in the house of our Lord and that all distractions would fade.

I love you all and am really enjoying the personal emails. These mean so much to me because I still want to be connected with what you are doing on a daily basis. It is my lifeline to you and it is important for me to have it living and active.

I found out that we can receive letters here. The rumor is it takes about a month to get it. So, if you mail it soon I will get it and it would make my day.
I leave for Kenya on the 9th of January so mail them before December.

The address is
Ministerio Arco Iris
Attn: Meag Diamond
Praia de Wimbe
Pemba, Mozambique

Kisses!