First Hand Experiences

I'm learning first hand about life in Nigeria. I've been doing this all year long but now the lessons are from a more personal perspective. This weekend I spent some time with Mike at his home in Ogudu. It's on the mainland of Lagos and with good traffic it takes about 30 minutes to get there. Mike shares an apartment with his friend Femi. One of my favorite things is hearing stories about them during their days at university. There are tears of laughter, slapped knees and gasps for breath whenever these stories are told.

Mike's life is so different from mine and it's made me realize that I'm a product of living in the states but at the same time I've been shaped differently than most Westerners. I don't expect our lives to be the same. In the past I think this mindset has helped me not to fall prey of culture shock. When living in a hut in Kenya or hitchhiking into town in Mozambique I didn't expect to see normal sights lining the roads or expect to hear the same sounds outside my window at night. I've always embraced whatever the experience has brought me. So, when experiencing part of Mike's life with him and seeing how different it is I'm not surprised. I embrace it.

And I'm also learning about Mike. This morning I washed the pan of the gas cooker while he went and got gas. Afterward I secretly watched from the doorway and he tried to light it. I smiled to myself as he tried patiently again and again. It was wet and wouldn't take. It took dozens of matches, he burnt his finger, it would light for a second then only fizzle out. Most of us would curse, slam our hand on the counter or walk away in defeat. I watched as he tried one different technique after another. The only sound escaping from him was a random burst of a song. He does this often. The only gesture from him was the shaking of his booty as he sang. One time when complimenting him on his patience he said he wasn't always like this. Mike set his mind to gain the virtue of patience. And as I was spying on him I was reminded of him telling me this and I was amazed at his determination and his success.

There are a million thoughts going on through my head about this relationship. My challenge is to enjoy the journey without knowing the destination. I was filling up water buckets and I found my mind wandering and contemplating as quickly and fluidly as the water flowed from the tap. I was thinking that this is fun now because it's an unknown adventure, but fast forward 1 year from now, or 10 years down the road what will be my feelings then? Will I be cursing the inconsistency of the water and electricity or will I embrace the dance of unpredictability it causes?

I asked him today if he could live a simpler life would he want to? He said "This is my life and I love my life. I like how I live, but yeah who wouldn't want an simpler life. I'll get their with time." I see how difficult life is and how hard he works. But, he loves the way he lives and for him it's normal. Not having power or water is normal. Living in a fuel shortage is normal. Having to meet his father for family business is normal.

Right now I like this life too. Granted I don't live like Mike does 24/7. I get little tastes of it every once in a while. But I've found this difficult life is actually simpler. It makes me feel closer to God who is in control of all these things anyways. It makes me feel less like I'm the driver and more like I'm along for a beautiful ride. It makes me grateful each time the power is on. It makes me grateful for when life is easy and there is a cab waiting outside the house or there is gas to boil rice. Something about it is actually simpler than the life we live in the west. The small unimportant things aren't given any thought and we don't waste any time on them. There is no energy for the petty things of life. Decisions are not as complicated because the options are less. Fried plantains would be nice, but oh, it's Sunday and the markets aren't open. End result, no plantains. Simple. Problem solved.

After hanging together I was going to take a cab home. We were on our way and as we crossed the bridge it was stand still traffic. Both ways up and down the highway not a single car was moving. Bumper to bumper. The taxi driver told me he had to take me back. There has been a fuel shortage again. This time for different reasons, but the end result is the same, endless long ques for fuel. He didn't have enough fuel to sit in hours of traffic and I didn't want to sit in hours of traffic. Also the price of fuel is up since there is a scarcity which means we didn't have fuel to run the generator. When the power does come on we quickly plug everything in to recharge. Computers, flashlights, phones, radios. We quickly rush to the kitchen and plug in the skillet or blender while the power is available. Life here is unpredictable and you can't force anything. You have to go with the flow and make the most of what the situation brings you. I ended up spending the night which meant I got to meet Samson, Mike's brother who also spent the night. The next morning there was little traffic but our fare was more expensive because of the fuel shortage.