Engagment Ceremony

Femi and Bola are... Well, to be completely honest with you. I'm confused. I've had many conversations with Mike. They go like this: Mike spends a long time explaining the engagement and marriage process then ends by asking "Do you get it?" Then there is a long pause on my end and finally a "Well.. not really." Then he begins to explain it again this time taking a different approach. And again ends with the question, "Do you understand?" My answer is, "Well, I guess. I sort of understand." He knows I don't yet.

Why are they white people?

Femi in his wedding garments, Segun, and me in our traditionals.

So, I'll tell you what I do know. Femi and Bola celebrated today! They celebrated choosing to live life together. It was a long ceremony that was loud with constant singing and talking drums. It was really unlike anything I've ever experienced. The drummers will come right up to you or even corner you until you give them money. I pulled out a ten naira note and offered it to them but he pulled away and say "Ut uh now." And so I gave him a 20 and the man leaned over to my friend Segun and said in Yoruba, "You've taught her!" There was a program that we followed but the times were hours behind.

Signing the official documents.

To start the families dance in and sit down opposite each other then there is a lot of singing and a lot of "dashing" which is where people come and pay small small money to the performers. This was drawn out for well over an hour.

The dowry yams. In some states they have stopped paying a really high dowry because it looks like they are selling their daughters.

Then they call up the groom from downstairs. They set out two chairs and placed silver bowls on them for money. The chairs were like a gate and before they passed through they had to lay money inside. The groom came in surrounded and supported by his mates. I couldn't help but think how Mike should have been one of them dancing and laughing around the groom all dressed in their traditionals. Femi had to prostrate himself before his new parent-in-laws. He had to lay flat on his stomach while they spoke prayers over him. They passed the microphone from one parent to the next while he lay there in submission. Then he sat on their knees while people snapped their photos. He sat up in the front in a heart shaped chair while Bola did the same thing.

Me and the beautiful bride Bola

Bolas mom is the second from the left in the pink head tie.

Eventually they were both in the heart shaped chairs and the Muslim service began. The elders spoke in Arabic and then it was translated into Yoruba. Most of the ceremony was in Yoruba so I understood nothing of it. But, I was so interested in all the action around me that I didn't mind. During the service Mike's dad would lean over and whisper to me the translation of the actions or the words. I loved spending time with him as I feel he is an important key for me to understanding Mike even better. This is the man who has passed on his wisdom of life to Mike, and Mike frequently mentions what his dad has taught him.

The Muslim elders who lead the service.

Celebrating after the ceremony.

During the whole service Mikes friend doted on me. Asking how I was doing and getting me anything I needed. At one time I was given some of the local bottled water and it just tasted strange to me so they went out to the street and bought me Eva water which was cool and refreshing.

Unfortunately, my battery was dead from all my snapping at the Nigerian Culture Day, so during the ceremony it was busy plugged in and charging. But, after the ceremony when we were all celebrating it was green and ready to go. So, I got some pictures afterward and took a lot of pictures of the traffic on the way home.

Scrap metal? Nope, not in Nigeria! This bad boy is still ruling the road here.

Sometimes the okadas are more reliable when in heavy traffic. They slip through small spaces and make their own lanes.

A typical sign saying in Lagos. "Don't urinate here." Everywhere else is free grounds.

I was snapping this from a different road and then realized we were joining the on ramp to merge into this mess. Typical. And this is way worse during the week. I'm grateful it was Saturday.

Flying down the highway. Obviously there are no click-it or ticket laws here. Always on the look out for a potential customer needing to go their way. They work hard for their small pay.

What a good note to end on.

Overall, it was a fantastic day. I got to spend time with some of Mike's best friends, participate in a Nigerian cultural event and be in the heart of Lagos life. It took us around 3 hours to get home which made it a full and rewarding day.